Recorded at Forge Recording Studio in Oreland, PA by Ron DiSilvestro. Mixed at 12th Street Sound in Austin, TX by Kevin Szymanski. Mastered at Yes Master Studios in Nashville, TN by Jim DeMain assisted by Amy Marie. Album design by Pixelbrand Creative Agency in Canada. CD manufactured at Atomic Disc in Salem, OR. Sachino Tsinadze on cello, and written and performed by yours truly. My beloved album is on it’s way, and will be ready in a few days for you. As you can see, it was touched by several amazing humans over several states. I feel very blessed to be able to make music for a living, and am so excited to introduce you to my latest album in a few short days…
A lovely little exercise that is written about in “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford. Write down the name of a person who affects you at the top of a page. Draw a line down the center of the page. On the left hand side make a list of all the traits you like about this person. On the right hand side make a list of all the traits you dislike about this person. Once your list is complete, write before each item in the left hand column “I love myself when…” and write before each item in the right hand column “I don’t like myself when…” This is a simple way to recognize that what you see in another person is really about you.
I have been reading quite a bit lately, and just started “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford. It grabbed me right away with this beautiful piece, and I wanted to leave it here for you to percolate with for awhile.
“All of your so-called faults, all the things which you don’t like about yourself are your greatest assets,” she said. “They are simply overamplified. The volume has been turned up a bit too much, that’s all. Just turn down the volume a little. Soon, you—and everyone else—will see your weaknesses as your strengths, your ‘negatives’ as your ‘positives.’ They will become wonderful tools, ready to work for you rather than against you.”
I had a great conversation on the topic of humility yesterday with some friends of mine. It was never really a word that was in my vocabulary on the regular. I assume this was due to the fact that I practically flew out of the womb with my arms akimbo, barking orders at someone. When I was 3ish I actually flung the screen door open and yelled at some kids to get off my property. I was just born with a whole lot of sass. My friend shared a reading she found that said “Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is for me to have no trouble; never to be fretted or vexed or irritated or sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised.” I thought this was so beautiful, I wanted to share it, so we could all take a moment to ponder just what a beautiful word it is, humility.
It’s a beautiful place to be in when you no longer have the burning desire to vilify the one who deeply hurt you. To simply hold them in a light of love and compassion, bless them, and remove yourself. Both physically, and mentally. For me this took some work. Some deep inner work. You see, I have the finger shaking, righteous, justice infused, need-to-prove-a-point chip implanted deep within me. That was no longer serving me, in fact, it was taking away from my best self. It feels much better to accept that it was not meant to be, and it is not possible to make it be. You can strategize, and project, and spend a lot of time and energy, but there is nothing romantic about what is unavailable. What is romantic, is the acceptance of reality, and the knowing that something better is on it’s way.
I love each and every process of making an album. I am currently in the last and final step for “Keeper of Bees” which is cover art design. I found a picture that I fell deeply in love with, now it’s a matter of fonts, depth, color, feeling etc. the story behind the title is bees representing those things we keep hidden, whether it be anger, fear, resentment, jealousy, addictions, you get the idea. I found the most beautiful representation of this with a vacant honeycomb. You see, at any point, you (and only you) have the ability to smoke out those bees when they no longer serve you. Can’t wait for you to see it!
Who gets a head cold in July? This girl. Who now sees it as a wonderful gift from the Universe? This girl. You see, at times we are so focused on where we are going, achieving, striving, the whole nine yards. But something grazes your field of vision that the Universe really wants you to understand. So you get sick. Suddenly, you have all the time in the world to sit, and listen to the message that was trying to be delivered (for years in my case.) From the moment it sunk in, I started to heal, in more ways than one.
You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning, and as your brain wakes up, it grabs a thought? More often than not, it’s a thought that is attached to something that is currently going on in your life. A little over a month ago, I decided to make an adjustment in my morning ritual. Upon rising, I make myself a cup of coffee, open the blinds to see my beautiful plants, and immediately sit to write a full page of gratitude. I do this without looking at my phone, or opening my computer, which puts me in an immediate reactive state. When I begin slowly with gratitude, it raises my vibe and sets the tone for the day. I have noticed big shifts since i’ve implemented this practice. Fewer stressful thoughts, fewer thoughts that are out of my business. When you are centered in grace, and gratitude, you are much less likely to allow anything in that disturbs that beautiful ecosystem.
Let’s talk about the mud. A few years ago, I was really in the thick of it. I was in a relationship that was a constant struggle. All I did was complain about the relationship to anyone that was willing to listen. I was in the mud. It was all I focused on, and where the majority of my energy went. One day, I decided that I was going to do something about it. So, I began, my journey in. I manifested an amazing therapist, and little by little I started to climb out of the mud. My journey out of the mud has been pretty awesome. I’ve attracted teachers, healers, beautiful friendships, a soon to be new album, and many other amazing things. Simply because I was willing to remove myself from the mud. Once my attention went back on myself, and on things that sparked joy, everything shifted. There were a few people in my life that I really valued as close friends, they were always there for me, and willing participants in my complaining. What I didn’t realize was, just because I was ready to get out of the mud, they were not. I had a pattern in the past of lowering my vibration to meet someone at their place of wallowing. I thought I was being a good friend, contributing my own stories of woe to relate. When in reality, I was enabling them to stay in the mud, and keeping myself in there as well.
“We might be saviors in a world that’s all undone. We will fight monsters even if it’s one by one. Paint me blind, paint me in black and white I just can’t see more red like this. No I, can’t see more red like this. We might be lanterns, in a world that has gone blind. We will be voices to the ones who close their eyes. Maybe on the other side I’ll find a place, where I feel at home. Maybe on the other side i’ll find a love I can call my own. We might be rainbows in a world that’s colorblind. We will be voices to the ones who close their eyes. Paint me blind paint me in black and white, I just can’t see more red like this. No I, can’t see more red like this. We might be saviors in a world that’s all undone. We will fight monsters even if it’s one by one.” -SMK