For years, one of my soul contracts has referred to me as “the mechanic” because I am a fixer. For many moons we have been spiritual sandpaper for one another. Consistently grating on each others character defects, until finally we were brought front and center, into the heart of our own work. I used to be the kind of mechanic that would show up at your doorstep to fix your toilet, that I decided was broken. While I was in there, I would find many other things I decided needed fixing, so I would give you a list. As you can imagine, that was not a very successful way to do business. I am happy to report, that I no longer have to advertise my nifty mechanic skills. If someone needs me, they simply call to make an appointment, and I will stop by if I am available.
After a much needed pattern interrupt yesterday (I wandered around some of my favorite shops) after my tech meltdown, I woke up today filled with excitement to dive back in and learn. I think I am most excited for my willingness to learn a new skill. I dated an audio engineer for 10 years, and didn’t care AT ALL about the technical side of recording. I am now realizing that I was giving my power away. It was also a convenient excuse to hide in my turtle shell and reenforce my limiting belief that it’s too hard to make money with my music, too out of reach, too expensive, etc. I could hide because I needed someone/something outside of myself to get my music into the world. My perfectionism was garnished with the belief that I wasn’t smart enough. It feels SO amazing as you do work around limiting beliefs, and begin to extract them, they are really the gift that keeps on giving. The layers just reveal themselves through your daily inspired actions. I am so excited to learn my new skills of GarageBand, and iMovie, I have no doubt that these tools will set my creativity on FIRE.
I am teaching myself Garageband. From scratch. It’s no small feat. As an artist, who has even dated an audio engineer (currently regretting not paying much attention to his Zone of Genius) I was never much into the technical side of things. Until now. I decided, where technology currently is, I am hindering myself to not learn the basics. Though I currently feel like my creativity is locked in a cage screaming for technical ability to set it free, I am just taking it one step at a time. In the past I would have bailed by now, it’s pretty complicated. However, if I can learn to speak, to walk, to drive, to sing live while dancers are dancing, I can learn Garageband.
Today when choosing from my lovely new “I am” deck by Mystic Moon Tarot, I chose “I am solar plexus” I had to look up what this meant, and found the most beautiful meaning. The third chakra is the center of willpower. While the sacral chakra seeks pleasure and enjoyment, the third chakra is all about the perception of who you are. The third chakra is the center of your self-esteem, your willpower, self-discipline, as well as warmth in your personality. The energy of this chakra allows you to transform inertia into action and movement. It allows you to meet challenges and move forward in your life.
As a recovering people pleaser, I never really realized how unattractive it was until I did some healing around it. As I healed and up leveled my own behavior, I became witness to this behavior in others. I think what I find most unattractive is the loss of authenticity, along with the subtle manipulation that is usually present. It’s a very distorted view of reality, and it’s being driven by unprocessed emotions. The more time and energy you expend with attempts to control or ‘figure out’ what anyone or anything outside of yourself is thinking, the more time is wasted from your magical self. Remember her? Remember what she loves to do? Remember what she wants to be? If you don’t, I suggest you spend some time with her. Alone.
I used to believe that in order to have great success you had to struggle. A lot, for awhile. I’m happy to report that this is simply untrue. It’s just something that my mind created, and I liked to seek evidence to support. I now choose to seek evidence to support just the opposite. Successful humans, that have a lot of personal freedom, very little struggle, hefty bank accounts, and lives filled with joy. My advice to you today is; ditch the bullshit. Stop feeding it by harping on it, complaining about it, and reinforcing it. There is freedom on the other side.
If you’re anything like me, you are pretty evenly split between left and right brain. This can be challenging at times as an overly analytical songstress. I recently received the most beautiful Sacred Creator Oracle deck from Chris-Ann Donnelly (who is my design hero, and also designed my album “Keeper of Bees”) this is a powerful deck for many reasons, but one very special one for me. It speaks deeply to my inner artist, and keeps my analytical monkey brain in check. I know when I feel out of balance, I can pull a card that completely shifts me back on the road to where I wish to be…
“Sometimes we don’t feed our artist because we see it as a non-productive pursuit. Allow your artist to play with no judgement + no expectation except to enjoy!” -Sacred Creators Oracle
What helps me gain clarity when I make choices is asking myself, is this coming from a place of love? Or a place of fear? Hard work in the wrong direction comes with anger and resentment (choices based in fear energy.) Hard work in the right direction comes with pride and accomplishment (choices based in love energy.) The energy that you are in when you make a choice, and then take action, is what will continue. I invite you today, to be really conscious within your choices. Feel into them. Move towards the joy, and the joy will multiply. But never fear, if you start veering off course you will get lovely little reminders scattered throughout your path.
Today I invite you to notice the quality of your listening. Do I simply pause until it is my turn to speak again? Do I have a curiosity for a different point of view? Do I interrupt? As I notice the quality of my behavior, I have more desire to change. Here is a little trick. Pretend the other party is about to tell you how to win the lottery. In subtle detail. You would then pay attention, and savor every word. Think of each conversation you engage in as sacred. Hold space for each other. Within each sentence, lies little gifts for you. Take the time to receive them.
Today I wanted to write about a secret mission I created a few months back. I had an older oracle deck that I was no longer using, on self-care. I decided instead of just tossing it, it would be a lot more fun to sprinkle love all over my city. So that’s just what I did. Each day, I would place a card. Sometimes it would be along a walk, or stopping in for my morning coffee. It became such a fun experience for me, leaving little messages of love for strangers who would find them. The idea of giving without being attached to the outcome is a beautiful act of love. How can you give today without being found out?